Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Doggy Style or if you prefer Ian's School of Sex Ed

My girl Ripley aka Ripples is in day 5 of her season. As I wanted to determine if it was time Ripples should go visit her "date" and to find out how my young male Quinn would deal with an in season female I figured I would bring them together in a controlled meeting to judge their responses. Ripples, the experienced girl that she is was all over him... well, like a bitch in heat. Quinn on the other hand wasn't sure just what he was supposed to do with this whirlwind of teasing, flaunting femininity. I remained quiet and ready to whisk them apart all the while letting Ripley do her thing but Quinn as excited as he was, still kept coming back to me for reassurance. He totally failed to get the complete picture that she was so expressively painting for him. 

 Later that evening as Ian and I were sitting around, I expressed my worry that when the time comes Quinn would either be totally clueless or too submissive around bitches in season. Neither of which is a good thing in a prospective stud dog. Ian of course felt I was worried about nothing as Quinn just needed to actually be "taught" what to do.

Now despite the many years of my breeding dogs Ian prefers to be a hands off kind of guy when it comes to the actual breeding and birthing of the puppies. He really has very little knowledge on how dogs actually do it, I know this as a fact because (1) he is constantly tell me he "don't know nothing 'bout birthing no puppies" and (2) in the not so distance past, Ian once walked in during a mating where the dogs had "tied" and exclaimed "They're doing it wrong! They're backwards!" OK, that being said, Ian is right in the fact that there have been times when a breeder needs to help an inexperienced male but the dog generally has a natural instinct that gives us something to work with.

Knowing Ian's lack of experience in doggy sex and never one to pass up the opportunity to tease him I decided to be a smart arse and ask ....

OK Ian, what do you mean taught, If not by instinct how exactly were you "taught" to do it?

 Ian's too quick response....
 Porno movies, magazines, back alleys.

BACK ALLEYS!!!! Alrighty then, add to that a story he once told me about a park bench, I now firmly believe Ian knows a lot more about dogs and bitches in heat then I first thought.

Feeling like I need a shower and some penicillin right about now.