Insomnia = Justifiable Homicide?

Justifiable Homicide? some times late at night I think...

I'll take my chances if the judge is a woman!

There once was a tired man from Trout Creek,

whose snoring was making his girl freak.

She plotted and planned,

where his body would land.

He's toast once she's perfected her technique.

There once was a man and his dog,

who found themselves in tonight's blog.
With my trying to sleep,
both their snoring did compete.
Sure wish I could quiet that man and his dog.

There once was a woman in love,

with the man she once dreamed of.
But the sound of his snore,
she could take no more.
Oh the torture that woman did conceive of.

There once was a man who was kicked to the floor.

cause he woke the whole house with his very loud snore.
He begged and he pleaded,
and claimed he was needed.
Oh, that man better know of a good jewelry store.

Dog Finds Severed Leg in Trout Creek, Ontario

A Golden Retriever found a severed leg while out hiking in Trout Creek, Ontario. The grisly find further lead to two decapitated teens (one with a very strange smile on his face) on the lower floor of a partially built camp. Police have not released the identity of the witnesses at this time however it has been reported that several people overheard the youths repetitively asking, "are we there yet, are we there yet", "I'm bored, I'm hungry" and "Mom, Mother, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Ma Ma, Mommy".

Upon further investigation police stumbled apon a middle aged man found on the top floor whose body was so mangled pictures were deemed to  gruesome to publish. Written in nail polish on what was left of the mans body were the strange words "No more trouser cleavage".

Currently charged and in custody is one of the youths mother however sources within the police department believe once the crown attorney has time to fully review the case it will be determined a justifiable homicide and all charges dropped.

In a related story, the body of a man was found in the nearby town of North Bay. Sources in the North Bay Police Department state this will also likely be determined a justifiable homicide when investigating officers learned, the no good husband failed to wake his wife as asked, leaving her and son behind, without a vehicle while he snuck off with out them to their shared camp in Trout Creek.

Fetch Boo Boo Fetch

As the cascading water ends I look pitifully across the room and think, why didn't I teach one of the dogs to fetch useful things like towels? .... Fetch Boo Boo, Fetch.
I know I have repeatedly told them that trying to lick me dry kind of defeated the purpose of my taking a shower but they distrust my logic. Least they could do is lick up the puddles on the floor.

Honesty is the best policy except when a lie will save my ass.

Honesty is the best policy except when a lie will save my ass.

by Jamie Lynn Veraldi on Tuesday, 28 July 2009 at 12:59

Facebook Survey

1. Will you answer every question honestly? ~ Yeah Honesty is the best policy except when a lie will save my ass.

2. Have you ever punched anyone in the face? ~ Does a highheel or cooking pot count?

4. Who makes you laugh no matter what? ~ Aaaron G, Ken G, Tiggerof course, tristan and all my Amazon Ladies and a couple of their spouses

5. Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past five hours? ~ how about 5 weeks, months, years?

6. Who was the last person you talked to?~ My attack specialist

7. What do you dislike at the moment? ~ the gang that is picking on a weak defenseless little girl (me in case you wondered)(shut up Trist)

8. How did you meet the closest friends you have now? ~ other friends, parties, work, dog sports

HARDER. (oh Baby!)

1. Do you get butterflies around the guy you like? ~ how about hot flashes?

2. Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age? ~ only when the neighbours hear

3. Will you get married? ~ Yes after this 20 year engagement ceases

VERY PERSONAL.

2. Would you change yourself for the person you love? ~ of course, as long as it is not mentally, phsyically or temperamently , maybe my spelling?

3. If you could, would you take an ex back? ~ no fucking way, (tigger said it all)

SECRETS.

1. When did you last cry? ~ after my last Dr appointment

2. Do you believe in religion? ~ I religiously believe in Beer and Chips

3. When was the last time you fell asleep with a girl? ~ too long ago to remember

4. What is currently on your mind? ~ if I find it I will tell you

6. Has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once? ~ not after I hit him in the face with a cooking pot, sent him to jail for 6 months dumped his ass and had a few friends have a "chat with him"

SHOCKING

1. Have you done bad things with your parents near by? ~ yes

3. Did you ever fail the school year? ~ no

4. Have you ever been too drunk to remember a certain night? ~ er maybe, I can't remember

THE DEEP STUFF

1. Do you think you were raised well? ~ yeah except for the occassional hairbrush smacked across the top of my head

2. Do you have a secret that you've never told ANYONE? ~ I'm not telling

3. How do you handle stress? ~ you can handle stress?

4. How would you spend your last day alive? ~ beer and BBQ with friends and family

5. Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscious? ~ guilty as sin

6. If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which one would you take? ~ sheesh not answering that will ruin my image!

7. If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with? ~ I only wish!!!

8. If you had to choose between having one family member dying or 5 of your closest friends die who would you pick? ~ stupid fucking question..

9. Do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member? ~ another SFQ

THE LOVE STUFF

1. Do you think you know the meaning of love? ~ there is meaning?
3. Whats the most important part of a relationship in your opinion? ~ ME

4. If your parents didn't like the person you were dating, would you lose them? ~ Bahaha ha, roflmao...wait...pmsl....oh oh...snort snarkle....I can't.....giggle stop ...lmao!

THE RANDOM STUFF

9. What do you do when you have a bad day? ~ make life hell for everyone else

10. Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"? ~ most are

11. Who messaged you last? ~ my attack specialist

12. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? ~ too long ago

13. If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? ~ plane tain or automoble?

15. Are you quick to start a fight? ~ ask Ken and Stephen

16. Do your parents really know YOU? ~ as if

17. Lyrics stuck in your head? ~ oh great thanks a lot!

OFF THE WALL QUESTIONS

1. What Curse Word Do You Use The Most? ~ bastard if happy, prick if angry

2. Do You Own An iPod? ~ whats an ipod

3. Do You Ever Take Medication To Help You Fall Asleep? ~ sleep? what the hell is sleep?

4. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk? ~ CHOCOLATE!!!

5. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks? ~ TIMMIES!

6. Do You Think People Talk About You Behind Your Back? ~ Of course

7. Is Anyone In Love With You? ~ would hope so

8. Ever Cry In Public? ~ to my everlasting shame

9. Are You Currently Wanting Any Piercings Or Tattoos: now that I am old enough not to regret it i'm also old enough that it won't stay in place very long

11. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos? ~ as long as he is sexy funny and rich!

12. Do You Pay Attention To The Calories In The Package/Box? ~ only on what I feed the furry herd

13. Do You Use Sarcasm? ~ Me? never...

14. Do you get along better with the same sex or opposite? ~ depends on which sex happens to not be currently pissing me off

16. How Did You Get One Of Your Scars? ~ ask me in a month or so and I will have actually have one