Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Big Girls Don't Wear Diapers

Dear Mom and Mother Nature,
Mom, you feed me every day without pay or complaint, yes it's the crappy nutritious, crunchy stuff and I'd much prefer what you eat but it fills my belly so I love you. Yes, you've given me my own bed to sleep in and although I wouldn't mind sharing your bed I'll admit the cookie before I go to sleep each night makes me your slave. I thank you for the long meandering walks through the bush where I get to enjoy all of what Mother Nature has to offer. Although you try to stop me from rolling in all that wonderful, berry filled bear poop I usually get a good long roll in once or twice before we have to go home so I still adore you. Since you take me for car rides to interesting places like Lake Nipissing where there is no possible way to prevent me from rolling in the aromatic dead bodies of shad flies, I can forgive you the occasional trick ride to the vets.
 Mother Nature, you have given me leaves to run through, logs to jump over and cool running waters to drink and swim in. You provide me with mud puddles to bury my head in, small animals to chase after and smelly, large animal poop to roll in. I adore you to the extreme and your wonderful bounty makes me quiver with excitement BUT dear Mother Nature when you come visiting me bearing your womanly "gift" and mom puts these embarrassing diapers on me, well it's at moments like this I despise you both! 
Pissed off,  Love, Sincerely,


No comments:

Post a Comment